Mitchieville Inflation Indexes

 

It's time again to discuss our financial situation here in Mitchievillle. Specifically, The Mayor would like to talk to you about inflation.

There are a few inflation indexes that The Mayor is sure you are aware of and which I will discuss, however, there are a few different inflation indexes that we use in Mitchieville that you may not be aware of. We will talk about those, as well.

CPI - Consumer Price Index - Exp. - 3.1% Act. - 2.9%

PCE - Personal Consumption Expenditures - Exp. 3.7% Act. 3.6%

Those are the two types of inflation indexes that you have most likely heard about, but in Mitchieville, we like to refer to other indexes that aren't as common. We feel this gives us a greater understanding of where we are heading in this economy. Knowledge is power, after all.

BFR - Barista Frappuccino Rate - this measures the year to year increase in prices found at your local coffee shop for drinks consumed by unbearable, pompous, pretentious liberal scumbags. 

Drinks include - frapps, capps, blended drinks, anything involving pumpkin spice, and every drink ordered that has the word venti, demi, grande, short, or tall attached to it.

GAI - Guacamole Affordability Index - EXP. 11.7% Act. 14.7%

This index refers to the year-over-year increase in guacamole and guacamole related food items. 

This index is also refereed to as the painfully stupid Millennial Index (PSMI).

SSS - Selfie Stick Scale Exp. 4.3% Act. 4.1%

This index measures the inflation in the market of selfie-related accessories. It reflects the cost of the products needed to maintain an online persona and being an overall complete waste of skin.