Top 5 New Years Resolutions that will destroy your career

You can lose your job for having a politically incorrect New Years resolution.  Keeping on top of the moving goal posts is a challenge.  Avoid entrapment by rent seekers this year with this good advice.  Here are the Top 5 New Years Resolutions that will destroy your career. 

Lose weight.  This is career poison.  Saying you want to lose weight signals that you are fat intolerant, which is Trump adjacent.  People now wear their lard with pride because of the urban myth that fatties are on psych meds, and that people on psych meds are allies of the left axis.  Do not waddle onto thin ice, even if your spirit animal is a duck.  

Exercise more.  The Trumper nazgul Joe Rogan is openly pro exercise, and you do not want to be adjacent to that sort of far acid right white wing scum.  You do not want to signal that you want to improve yourself:  Woke standard is that improvement can only come through the state.  You are just going to get a warning letter in your secret file.  If you telegraph that you go to the gym, then you are making  yourself a target for some grievance artist wanting to stage a gotcha moment for career advancement.  

Quit smoking.  I think the only people I know who still smoke work in the black market.  If you are still a smoker working in the main stream, keep your mouth shut about quitting smoking.  You do that and you telegraph that you are a settler who is now going to cheat the indigenous of their cut of tobacco profits.  Start smoking reservation smokes, when you start to cough up bits of lung you will quit smoking, and you will not get set up for a false rape charge by Human Resources.   

Stop eating meat.  Currently, eating meat is bad.  Unfortunately, vegans and vegetarians are showing push back against eating bugs.  They are traitors to woke.  You do not want to be associated with bug meat hating vegans, and getting secretly recorded by Human Resources or a grievance artist as being anti-meat just makes you traitor adjacent to those off plantation vegans.  

Read more.  This is career poison.  This telegraphs that you are an independent thinker, failing to keep in lock step with the revealed truth.  Your DEI manager needed a reading coach and a tutor in phonics starting in grade two, and flaunting your literacy is just stepping in dog shit.  You want to lick their boots to get ahead, so do not remind them that they have R and L written inside their shoes.  

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.  I care.