Victory Coffee - April 30, 2020

Are you happy today, Happy Worker?  Too much booze, smoking, and bad, bad women?  You need your Victory Coffee.

Planet of the Humans

There is no doubt that upon first hearing Michael Moore has a new documentary out exposing the environmental movement, The Mayor seemed a little skeptical.

Victory Coffee - April 29, 2020

This is for my Mitchieville pal, Reg.  In memory of his famous Chicken Caligula which not only resolved his relationship challenges, but provided so much entertainment for the acolytes of Set, the Snake God on that wonderful summer evening.  (Reg was also my inspiration for the Victory Coffee meme).  Happy Workers, pour that Victory Coffee!

Flattening Mitchieville's Curve

The Mayor is so happy to announce that due to the measures taken by Mitchievillian's against this horrible Wuhan Plague, we are finally seeing a flattening of *the curve*.

Victory Coffee - April 28, 2020

Hearing those voices in my head.  You mean the committee?  Time for a little cosplay, time to go on a spree.  Drink your Victory Coffee!

Quarantine Day 47.5

On day 21 of quarantine, I filled 36 baby jars with my own feces. I heard that if you drop a seed in a jar of your own feces, and then put that jar in your closet, when you take them out 26.5 days later, your vegetables will grow tall and have magic powers.

Wuhan Flu Update

Thank you for joining us this evening. Before we get into the specifics as to how we are going to open up the economy again, I would just like to go over a few things from the past day that we think needs repeating.

Victory Coffee - April 27, 2020

Wake up, sober up from your lock down drunk.  Victory Coffee!  Clean the place up, the butts, the bottles, and the legacy of the forgotten guest.

Victory Coffee - April 26, 2020

Headache  much?  This virus lockdown is turning into a bender.  Victory Coffee!

Victory Coffee - April 25, 2020

Up at noon, and hit the bottle by the coffee pot.  Splash some something in the cup … social distant Victory Coffee

Victory Coffee - April 24, 2020

Most of us have quit smoking at home.  Under lockdown.  I miss the timber and range you get from smoke stained vocal cords.  Drink your Victory Coffee.

Victory Coffee - April 23, 2020

Gosh darn, the stay at home beer sounds good around now.  Beer for Breakfast!  Victory Coffee … today, at noon!

To Open Or Not To Open

According to an Angus Reid poll, the majority of the Canadian public say it is not time to relax restrictions imposed since the WuFlu paaaaandemic:

Victory Coffee - April 22, 2020

Yes, your upwind neighbor is getting food parcels delivered by some guy in a mask and gloves.  Might neighbourly, y'ask me.  He lets his yappy poodles out and you better not let them lick your face.  Get inside and drink your Victory Coffee.  You need your health to pay your taxes.

Let Them In, It's Just The Flu, Bro!

As if Donald Trump needed more reasons to shut his country down to illegal invaders, here comes a story out of Panama that is sure to warm the cockles of your blackened heart:

Fly Me To The Moon

And let me play among the stars,
and let me see what spring is like
On a-Jupiter and Mars.

House arrest have you down? Tired of being tired, sick of being sick? Finding out that gaining 17 pounds in three week's isn't actually as rewarding as you once thought? Well, here's a little time-waster just waiting for your chubby fingers to click on:

Toronto Pearson Arrivals

Now you can look through all the arrivals from Canada, and internationally, that arrive daily at Canada's biggest (and hopefully most diverse, yuck yuck yuck) airport.

Victory Coffee - April 21, 2020

As the media will be non-stop mass killing today about that low down dog who fits the narrative of straight, white male, here is a low down dog sort of song.  No mention here of never gay issues like cop drag, nor cop car fetishism, so you can feel white guilty in your safe space.

Drink your Victory Coffee, happy worker.  The deficit is growing and your confiscated income will be needed to pay off blackfaced politicians vacation renovations.

Tortoise and The Hare & Sandwiches

I don't know who the unit was, but there was some idjit on the teevee this morning spouting off about the Flumanachoo, yammering on about how we can't open up the economy right now because if we do we will have a second wave and chances are, if this second wave comes to Canada it will cause havoc the likes we haven't seen since the first havoc which is actually right here right now causing major inconveniences more that havoc.

Fair enough. Havoc.

Call 1- 800 U SNITCH

Kids, how would you like to earn an extra half hour of sunlight today and even get to play at the Mitchieville Wellness Park?

Fun? Wowzers!

How, you ask? Simple, if you have two ears, a mouth, and a phone, you're nearly there!

Quaranteen - Day 37

"Bring out your dead, bring out your dead."

You would think that would be an essential as well as a positively-received service in this troubling time we are all going through. However, not only is it not a positively-received service, offering up such service will get you a visit from your local detachment of the RCMP.

Victory Coffee - April 17, 2020

Good morning Victory Coffee, happy workers!

You should be thankful to, uh, Mother Nature, for the gift of plague, because, well, if our ability challenged media and elites clued into the fact bio warfare exists, existed, well, their little world view would be challenged.  Drink your Victory Coffee and enjoy the decline!

Quarantine - Day 36

Day 36 proved to be one of the more exciting quarantine days to date. It started out like a regular quarantine day, but then quickly morphed into something out of a sci-fi novel. If I read sci-fi and actually knew of a book, I would compare today to that book, but as I don't, I'll just leave that right there for you.

I woke up and decided today was not a day to wear pants. I decided to go with muscle shirt and pajama shorts, ankle socks and a pair of moccasins. You dress for success, after all. I went downstairs and made myself a jug of regular Joe coffee. No dark roast for me, as I'm not a homosexual. As I sat enjoying my 9th cup of coffee, I looked out the window and there I saw something that made me sick to my stomach - there were two people walking slightly less that 2 metres away from each other.

Green Shoots & Leaves 2484

The economies of the world continue to circle the drain. Unemployment is higher now in the western world than it was during the great depression. Homelessness, depression, and suicide are rampant. All hope is gone.
On the bright side, The Mayor is really filling out his t-shirt in a most manly way. Laaaawd have mercy!

India's poor are being allowed back to work. Unlike in Canada, where the middle class are being forced to not work, which will eventually lead them to being poor. Then they'll probably be allowed to go back to work.

March apparel sales in the US are in free-fall.

Investor Words of the day - debt/equity ratio

Google has been ordered to turn over all Hillary Clinton emails from a Gmail account believed to contain backups to communications from her personal server which her IT specialist, Paul Combetta, reportedly scrubbed using BleachBit.

Quote of the day

The reality about food and drug shortages in Canada due to FluManAchoo

Panicdemic #7

Norse mythology for smart people

Twice Is Nice

The Mayor doesn't remember ashtrays in McDonald's when he was a youngster, but he does remember smoking in the Jean Machine as he waited for his girlfriend to *hurry the hell up* and buy that pair of Jordashe. Care to try those on, sweetheart? Here's a clothes hanger, don't choke out on me.

Blogspot, eh? Everything old is new again.

Now all we need is a Marc from Calgary and a D Morris and we can get this party started.