Horoscope for the week of December 3, 2023

Add to your list of top ten things to not talk about: "When is the next atrocity?"  Could be today! So, a feeling of relief came over me when I saw that this week begins with the Moon in Leo.  Then, Tuesday, a notable falls, with the mob held back by the law.  Thursday, a critical mass awaken from delusion. The awakening continues for the rest of the week.  Indeed, the future is written in the Stars!

Aries:  Your cushy time gets cut short by an expected fall from leadership on Tuesday.  You deserve to feel smug and superior, Aries. You saw it coming.  The logistics of plunder is your concern.  Thursday, the wrong people do the right thing, so be ready to realize coupon clipper savings.

Taurus: The preserved food component of your diet is suddenly substandard on Tuesday.  An evil witch will cross your path; there is a spell upon your dishwasher.  After Thursday, expect a hex upon fatty foods: they will make you fatter faster.  All blubber is banished when you take out your frustrations upon a stranger.  

Gemini: Your web of intrigue bears fruit in the form of a tasty fly to feed to the spider you have working for you.  Every day your perception of reality is expanding.  You will have a profound experience early Friday morning.  Remember to play the Lottery as well.  Success means paperwork. 

Cancer: As the horrible events of this week unfold, you will be safe and secure, Cancer.  Overindulgence in snacks, delicacies, and, stimulants, could lead to indigestion, heart burn, or that bloated feeling.  Starting Tuesday, get rich quick opportunities open up, even as people start cracking up.  Thursday, you can sit out Festival, or pitch right in.  You are the FO in FAFO. 

Leo: Visits to government bureaucracy are predicated on how much cough syrup the staff has chugged.  Do not expect things to go smoothly.  Alternately, you can put off to tomorrow what you can do today.  Profound savings are yours on Tuesday and Thursday.  You deserve new shoes.

Virgo:  You have a leadership role in public fitness.  Could be a yoga class, could be a riot.  You will realize you are skilled in crowd management, especially Tuesday.  Athena has a job for you on Thursday.  Could be sewing, could be front rank of the shield wall.  You will excel and impress, Virgo.

Libra: Use a blood curdling scream to clear the air in a discussion. Using fear to get your ends is new to you, but after Tuesday, you will find you have the knack!  No need for performance anxiety!  Tearing meat from the bone with your teeth is fun.  Social norms assert themselves on Thursday, unbalanced people need you lead them.

Scorpio:  Only after Tuesday will your conscious mind realize just how wonderful you really are, Scorpio.  Be prepared for people to just hand you money. This will make an impression on you.  Thursday, a mere splinter of your radiant inner goodness will earn you the acclaim of the mob.

Sagittarius:  You have plenty of what you need.  Petty side issues make left over porridge in the fridge important.  A triumvirate forms on Tuesday, choose your provinces.  When someone tells you to search your feelings, they just want to put a bag over your head.

Capricorn:  It takes a few minutes for the sink to drain after a clog.  Give your plumbing a good clean with powerful chemicals before Tuesday.  Make room in the freezer; bargains are coming.  The White Tornado arrives Thursday with some necessary sparkle cleaning of stainless steel in your kitchen.  The weekend, to pillage!

Aquarius:  Mustard gas is not a condiment.  Tuesday, a tyrant oppressing your control of your personal music is overthrown.  Take the spoils, it will be fun, and so retro.  The Wednesday time traveler shows up on Wednesday as they always do.  They have magic beans, of course, but the catnip is best. 

Pisces:  Practice looking in the mirror and saying, 'I understand the Universe'.  Be smug, you are superior.  The barriers to transcendental thought are falling in your mind this week.  Pop music lyrics have profound meaning.  Charlie was on to something.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.  I care.