I am a life long learner. This week, I am getting another run through on the Set Boundaries stuff that is the bread and butter of getting along psychology. Taught this before to my class. I am a HR professional (it says so on my card), so I get stuck with these sort of corporate brainwashing efforts. The interesting stuff, like constructive dismissal, I save for management.
I am a Human Resources professional. It says so on my card.
Now I have staff refusing to come to work because of road blockades. I know they would prefer to work at home, so the high pH opinion of The Boss is that this is an excuse, evidence of mutiny. In his perfectly correct mind, these people are mutineers. He is allowed to spout offensive words and opinions: he has video of himself at the Pride parade, so Labor law does not apply.
The few who made it into work yesterday (their scheduled 'work from the office day') spent a considerable amount of time researching the issue. What do you do if you are attacked in your car? What do you do? they want to know. They did no actual work. More dust on the files in the in baskets.
The collective opinion is that it is futile to reach out to Law Enforcement about the question about what to do if you are having your car pounded on by masked protestors. There is a diversity of reasons they do not trust Law Enforcement:
1) They come from a culture where you do not trust Law Enforcement, period.
2) They say that Law Enforcement has bent the knee (or brought coffee) to criminals, and cannot be trusted.
3) They say that Law Enforcement is rife with factions. The response to crime is contingent on the personal whims of the constable involved.
They provided a considerable amount of paper from their research into the truth of points 2) and 3) above. I forget what happened to this report; and there are no fingerprints of mine on it, anyway. I wear gloves at my desk to prevent Covid.
To complicate things, the senior manager over this group of departments (not The Boss, the guy subordinate to The Boss), has used his position of power to arrange a permanent 'work from home' status. The rumor mill has it that he has moved back to his homeland nation and has repurposed his Toronto condo into an undocumented 'AirBnB' revenue stream. This is another reason that his staff hate his guts. Some of the staff are studying ninjutsu, a martial art, to work off stress.
OK. So begins the second week that the General Ledger is 'out of balance', and the various sub systems (Loans and Deposits) will only close out with a lavish number of single sided accounting entries. This is generally accepted by the secret combination of programmers who do these things, as well as The Boss, who refuses to make himself look bad to The Man because the books are out of whack, now out of whack for quite a few days. Should be a full month soon. Month end is being prepared for fudging.
I am glad that The Boss is willing to use his line editor to make the books look balanced. Those printed reports that go to The Man are truthy. The computer data, not quite the same. The senior mutineer, who provides the technical expertise in single sided entries, is proud of blackmailing The Boss into withholding his wrath on the mutineers. I trained him myself.
As for the idea that staff can make a killing off of short selling the stock of their employer, I have no recollection, and nothing in writing, and never any of my fingerprints on anything. Timing is everything in the market, eh?
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.
Many of my paying readers have asked the same question: "Fenris, how do the squatters get into the house in the first place? How do they get in to change the door locks in under ten minutes?" This is a good question. The answer I was told was tunneling. This explains why I have been allowing the theme of tunneling into so much of my other, unrelated, writing. I am around so much tunneling activity that the sights and smells of tunneling have surfaced up from my subconscious. I was just in the nearby Dupont tunnel. It is now a brewery. An undocumented brewery.
It is Toronto tradition. Yes. The people here would paint their skins blue, dye their hair red, and, launch raids into Ulster. For plunder. Of course, we do not do that any more. No, we go to the Eaton's Center.
Yes, it is funny. The plundering! People are always happy when they are plundering. Better than the white man's Christmas! But, the Toronto Scots, we do not do that any more. We keep the tradition alive by wearing tartans, eating shortbread, and, putting whiskey in breakfast oatmeal. Mmmm. Oatmeal!
When you wear tartan, it is to remind you of the sacrifice of your Scottish ancestors who would paint themselves blue and hide in a mud pit, breathing through a tube, and rise out of the muck to grapple with a passing Ulsterman. Shortbread is to remind you of the blue painted Scots who wait patiently in a tree to drop on unsuspecting passers by. They only had shortbread to eat while they waited. As for the tradition of whiskey, it is to remind the blue painted Scots of the difference between the whiskey oatmeal (which takes on the golden coloring of that elixir) and the 'thank you for open borders' yellow liquid oatmeal left in an empty, pillaged barn.
You should go to the Eaton's Center. It is like 800 A.D. all over again!
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.
The thing about having Secret Plans is not that you are edgy; the thing about having Secret Plans is having a Secret Planning Department. Throw in a serving of coffee, a room to change out of Canadian Blizzard gear, and now you need Human Resources to set up Logistics. I am a Human Resources professional, it says so on my card. From my notebook, these are the top five things Human Resources professionals need to know when developing a Secret Planning Department.
You have beautiful skin. The government hired me as a PSW for this air raid shelter. I identify as human. The door is locked, now. I feel safe. I am cooking up some meat. Meat.
When I think about lifeboats, I like to think about who I have aboard. I think about DEI. I think, are they plump? I like the plumpers. It is my own word. You can use if for air raid shelters, too. People bring their pets to the air raid shelter. Plumpers and poodles. Budgies like to fly away. But you can catch a dog. I am a vegan in sunlight. In my air raid shelter, I have a hot plate.
Look at this. It is a kit, just like IKEA. A pop up machine gun. Same size as a car tire. It pops up and down. You can install it into your front lawn. Nobody will see it. Until you need it. Then, no more howling tomcat, eh? No loud parties. It comes in a box. You should have one. You live in Bracondale, eh? The municipal strong man there, he will pay for your pop up machine gun. He is your friend. He wants a safe community. A community with interlaced lanes of fire and no dead ground is a safe community.
You can dig your own, but why have to? You have friends. We are friends. Your friends will dig the tunnel. They already know how! Our friends! They come at night, in the rental van. Everyone can see it, the bright, happy colors! You will have the tunnel you want under your house. The tunnel you deserve.
A beautiful tunnel. Toronto needs more tunnel space. There is a housing crisis! You can help! Rooms are 2500 a month. You can have four rooms down there. Ten thousand a month! For you! Every month. For your pocket. Cash.
Your friends will build the tunnel. They do good work. They are top notch. I know how you feel. I have felt the same way. I have found that borrowing the money to build the tunnel I want to make lots of cash fast is always a good idea. I will lend you the money. I care.
You are just a few feet away from your dreams. An electrician will come to tap into your neighbors service. You will save money, right away! A wise man does not stand behind the elephants tail. This is progress.
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.
My friend makes hundreds of dollars a month killing chickens. You can too. It is easy. They do not fight back. You want a job? My friend will give you money to help him with his chickens. He lost his eye to a chicken. He needs help. It is easy work.
Everyone eats chicken. You can sell it door to door. Even if you sell your chicken for a dollar, you will make money. There are government grants. Government money. But you must have the feathers to get the paycheck. There is a phone app that does all the paper work. You will understand when the time comes.
I know how you feel. I have felt the same way. I have found that borrowing money to get the equipment you need to make lots of cash fast is always a good idea. You do not need to borrow the money. I will lend it to you. I care.
You are just a handshake away from your dreams. A plumber will come to you with the equipment. Everything will make sense. Chickens are comforting.
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.
Should I have warned Gollum, the homeless guy? He was going through some stuff left out in the trees. This is the park at the north west of Davenport and Bathurst. Gollum did not know whose stuff it was. An organized ring of specialty sex workers use that beach blanket for afternoon love making. There was a purse bag with lube and condoms. I see a problem here. I walk away.
What color do you want? The Russian blue house cat makes a sexy, babe magnet head of hair. You can never tell it is not real. And it sheds, just like real hair.
Have a drink.
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.
I am a human resources professional. It says so on my card. I just wanted to share with you a few things about the DEI work environment. I spend so much time finding talent and then black washing them with diversity to get them hired and then see them fall to drug overdose, rough sex, or transit violence. So here are a few pointers to help you keep afloat until you get that no work job you were promised by Justin.
Be the best Asbestos
Salesman I can be,
In League with Tobacco
so-ci-e-ty
And the phone,
. . . it never stops
Its my phone buddy,
with cheap pork chops!
* * *
News from the Fortress of Zagreb.
* * *
You are Nobody without Me.
* * *
Hunting the woke through the woods.
* * *
Take the Red Pen to your Philosophy
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.
Many extraterrestrial corporations are now secretly active on your Home Planet. If you are looking for employment with a meritocracy, access to advanced tech, and, travel perks, then check this out.
