Detoxifying the Community with caring

I am a human resources professional. It says so on my card.  I  just wanted to share with you a few things about the DEI work environment.  I spend so much time finding talent and then black washing them with diversity to get them hired and then see them fall to drug overdose, rough sex, or transit violence.  So here are a few pointers to help you keep afloat until you get that no work job you were promised by Justin.

Side Hustle.  Back in the bad old days of the Patriarchy, having a side hustle was frowned upon.  Well, sodomize those old white men!  Everyone has a side hustle now.  You have a phone, email address, and a computer with internet access now ... use them to expand your reach and move product.  You can solve logistic delays, do banking, whatever from your desk at work!  Be enthusiastic: put up flyers on bulletin boards, send out your spam on internal mail, and walk around distributing product.  Yay! 

Sex at Work.  Those repressed white scum of the past discouraged romance at work, and certainly never condoned having a quick flutter on the bosses desk.  Well, no more.  The sexual dynamics of your work place are now part of your career ladder.  Find out who to suck and fuck your way to the top.  Reinforce your resume talking points by being the department fuck toy.  Bring some knee pads and organic lube to work when you start or if you want a merit increase.  

Cartel in the Mall.  This is not a veiled criticism of open borders.  If you work in Toronto, it is pretty much certain that an international cartel is taking over the local shopping mall.  They get a taste from the boosting and grocery store raiders, and any wholesale traffic in drugs is under their thumb.  So there are bound to be cartel associates in your workplace.  Generally, the cartel people are the ones who slap people around, steal their stuff, and have forced sex with cuties in the bosses office. If the cartel is new to your work environment, you just might win big if you can get a side hustle appointment with them. 

Narcan is your friend.  I always put Narcan skills on the resume of white applicants to black wash them with diversity.  Enough people are worried about croaking at work that they want someone who won't 'forget the bolts' when it comes to life saving.  Another good piece of puff is to have some defibrillator street cred.  The better off employees who are into branding, scarification, and breath control will imply that they want someone around who can spark them back to life even when they are in their rubber sex gear.  Of course, never mention that disease that never strikes the vaxxed, myocarditis.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.  I care.