Aries: Someone else is pushed into the future. You get to help! That which you desire is chasing you. On Wednesday you get on the same page. Also on Wednesday, the unstable triumvirate loses a leader, and you get the spoils, but that was the plan all along, Aries.
Taurus: Use your winnings from Wednesday to get that winning ticket you deserve next week. Think of it as planting a seed, Taurus. Alternately, a powerful amulet will come into your possession on Wednesday. Do not use it until Thursday, at midnight. Use it to make benefits grow upon themselves until the next gremlins and water Full Moon.
Gemini: Left over business from the soon to be previous administration is on your mind this week, Gemini. Use your legendary mind power to accurately relate how they got it all wrong. Someone is listening, and on Saturday expect swift action from someone inspired by your prose. You will win with the word "vigilante" in Scrabble.
Cancer: Mid afternoon Thursday you can take the pig out of the smokehouse. Make a magic potion from beets and turnips after the sun sets on Thursday and save a portion for pot luck to take to the coming Full Moon ritual. Despite what you see on the computer, people are peaceful around you. The powerful pheromones in turnip transfer to the chef, giving you the aroma of the Boss Bug. They fear you.
Leo: The first whispers are for your ears only, Leo. A new force for justice has taken form. Descriptions are vague, fodder for conspiracy theorists. The new force for justice is looking for a side kick, in battle cheerleader, and, responsible passenger for rides in experimental vehicles. When you hear that deep bass voice say, 'Hello', you will know, Leo, king of beasts.
Virgo: Your clandestine work for a foreign power becomes four dimensional when you realize that foreign means extraterrestrial. At the end of this week, on Saturday, The Mothership signals it is coming from the Home Planet. Before that though, check to make sure all your batteries are fully charged. This is the moment for your side hustle, Virgo!
Libra: The Junta look calls for riding breeches, for a start. Are you willing to lead the team with your enthusiasm? The face slap will be socially acceptable again. Like dark Santa, you have a list. Now check it twice. Thursday comes, wear gloves that fit nice. No need for knuckles, not downtown.
Scorpio: Technology is your tool for fun and profit. A space alien downloadable app has installed itself in your burner phone. It has incredible powers. To prove this to yourself, order the construction of a thirty meter high and thick cube of reinforced concrete to block your view of an eyesore. From the proof of your own senses you will unlock the secrets of this powerful phone app.
Sagittarius: Powerful forces draw you into places of enthusiastic sales staff, recycled air low in oxygen, and, all you can eat dining deals. Just after coffee break on Tuesday, Ninja move through your food court. It is a marketing gimmick, but it gives you ideas. Secretly watch to see who reads the clipping about the Russian Winter Offensive.
Capricorn: Casually make your way to the safest place aboard ship for 10:30am on Tuesday. You will win with the word "sabotage" in Scrabble. The frogmen surfacing around the lifeboat are not expected by most people. Robots can fly the plane, but not the one you are on.
Aquarius: You are the Lawgiver in an ordered Universe that has no purpose. Plan an extended weekend with mushrooms at the free sex hippie chick commune. Dodge calls from work, maybe put together a list of names of squares who harsh your buzz at work. Charlie says give the list to Sadie and Tex for some pick up work.
Pisces: Put all your energy into the midnight ritual on Wednesday night. Your powers are recharged and you are surrounded by ingratiating minions. The gift of an Enid Sinclair coloring book is propitious. Madmen attack each other for your amusement. New beads for a shrunken head are called for. Few can comprehend the things you see on public transit. You are the eyes of Xepe Totec.
Isn't there a song? "I am the eyes of Xepe Totec, all your ways are exotically spelled to me", something like that. Or perhaps it goes "eye, eye, eye, Delilah!" So many songs, can't keep 'em straight.
ReplyDeleteOK, the lazy minion I force to do the typing cannot spell. Xipe Totec, indeed. I have a good mind to skin him alive.
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