Top 5 ways to make money as an Air Raid Warden in mostly peaceful times.

 

For older men, the onset of Eternal War is good news! Lots of job categories opening up. One of which is Air Raid Warden.  Here are the Top 5 ways to make money as an Air Raid Warden in mostly peaceful times. 

Entry and exit taxes.  You can rationalize a good or service and demand payment:  No, the card machine does not work. You can run home to get your purse, lady. Mind the nerve gas. It smells like paint spray. Ahhh. You do have money.  You have cash!  The price is now all your cash, because you make me get out of my chair. 

Can you hear me on the loudspeaker? I can find a plumber to reconnect your lights and sewage pump, but he is far away in another shelter. He will have to come here through the bombardment. Maybe you should give him all your cash as a up front thank you.

Service fees.  You can abuse your position of power to extort: This shelter has air conditioning. There is electricity bill!  It keeps the poison gas out, that is what! Give me twenty dollars! 

Everybody, hand over your food! No food in the shelter!  Give it to me. You can have it back if we survive certain death. 

A message from Brains at Headquarters, listen up! Give all your money to the Air Raid Warden.  Certain bills and coins have had explosives built into them. He will take them and you will be safe.

The Contemplative Life. Having a quiet place during city bombardment is nice.  For some Air Raid Wardens, just shutting the big steel door, walking down a few flights of stairs, and shutting that second door is enough.  All alone in a twelve person shelter!  You can gobble the emergency food, lounge in several blankets, and, have two pillows!  The forward thinking Air Raid Warden will prestock his vacation shelter, with delicacies and beer! 

The sex worker economy.  Free sex hippie chick communes like to have privileged access to air raid shelters that are close by and non-judgmental about the sex trade.  They will pay you with food and sex.  They have simps, who will give you money too.  They talk on the phone too much, and can be hit up with service fees (above).  These communes always have big men around who have strangely evaded conscription.  

The arsenal.  The big men who hang around free sex hippie chick communes like to have their own space, which you can make available.  They want a place with a garage door entrance, with a concrete floor, and some simple machine tools, like a lift pit, full spectrum welding, and, paint booth. An astute Air Raid Warden can balance off having an arsenal with life time long time comp service at the free sex hippie chick commune.  Even better, be the boss man, the Charlie. Then you get the vacation shelter, too. 

Have it all.  Old man, you deserve to be an Air Raid Warden. You can have your vacation shelter, romance at the free sex hippie chick commune, and, friendship at the arsenal. 

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.  I care.