Horoscope for the week of 25 February, 2024

Aries: A lingering air of madness is found in your public spaces. When you see naked people, having a good time, in a shopping mall you only frequent rarely, then you have a decision to make, Aries. If this happens on Wednesday, then you can walk two paths: have your cake, and eat it too! 

Taurus: In your nightmares they are making clones of Hollywood celebrities to come to Brampton as sex workers. On Wednesday, a sex robot crosses your path: an advanced model that has escaped from a space ship. On Thursday, keep the keys close to your person.  When the door shuts and the lock clicks, you want to be the person with the key. 

Gemini: You have access to enlightenment levels of comprehension and good taste on Wednesday.  On Thursday, the irrelevant is stripped off a problem and your full attention is required. With the tinsel removed, you will find answers that uplift and magnify.  Use your background awareness to establish an additional computer identity. 

Cancer: Make problems smaller. The correct combination of amulets is close at hand on Wednesday. On Thursday, someone is getting a hard lesson, but it is part of growing up. Your opinion is not immediately popular, so save your insights for your investment banker.  One of your alias accounts receives a deceptive coupon for a deal on chicken. You are being fished. 

Leo: Things will appear different under the light of day in contrast to what appears at night. Be aware of this and stage an important decision to the time of day that engenders the answer you want.  Wednesday, you will perceive the general case of this day/night thinking; and on Thursday, a serious critique will sharpen your skills. 

Virgo: The administrative cadre of the legion of Chaos attains a gilded honor. You will sense this on Wednesday, Virgo. Surveillance systems are baffled by your guile. Thursday finds you contemplating employment in a press gang; be assured, you can work your side hustle 

Libra: Easy journey to other planets is available to you: inspect your junk mail for a flyer from a reputable space travel firm. The price point is attractive. The destinations are all places you want to see. You can get human food at the hotel.  The reality of your snap vacation is a frowning boss and weeping co-workers. Thursday, you will figure out how to have your cake and eat it too.

Scorpio: A space alien artifact comes into your possession on Thursday which will help explain what happened before you got it. You will figure it out, mostly, on Wednesday.  This will make perfect sense to you on Friday. As another distraction this week, several gadgets are available for your amusement.

Sagittarius: Your past life as a dark ages war lord is showing. On Wednesday, the signs of peasant revolt are comingled with signs of sea borne invasion.  Take your pick, but both problems require the efforts of competent leadership, which, sadly, is not present.  Thursday, your soldiers salute you as Imperator. 

Capricorn: World events manifest in cloaked form around you. You are an observer here, Capricorn. In the areas of communication, culture, and, combat, you will leading edge insights. Wednesday, a psychopathological structure is dissolved; Thursday, a reminder from Santa Claus.

Aquarius: This is a good week to interact with your Manson family connections.  Make an unexpected visit on Wednesday: the hospitality you experience comes from a time before pronouns. Thursday, a difficult situation is turned to your advantage.

Pisces: You will achieve an advanced state of comprehension on Wednesday. On Thursday, you will notice that you have developed the ability to become invisible. You can rationalize it, of course. People are just not paying attention, eh? At least once this week, look in the mirror and remind yourself that you are born under the sign of the Earthshaker.