Top 5 Nazi Secret Weapons misplaced by the Canadian Army

The old hands always used to talk kind of quiet like about this stuff, but they are silent now in the mess.  Kind of makes you wonder.  Something lost there, HQ?  Do you need a hug?  Here are the top 5 Nazi Secret Weapons misplaced by the Canadian Army. 

Frozen Soldiers.  Nazi science made horrifying breakthroughs in reviving frozen people during the Russian winters.  During the division of spoils by the Allies, the Canadians were stuck with this technology, as none of the non-English European powers could be trusted.  During the 1950's, several brigades were frozen; nobody knows where they are.  If you ask anyone about it, they say they do not know.  If you call the central switchboard for central command, you get nowhere, and you get nowhere fast.  If you want to know where all the money went over the years to the army, it went into vast, dragon hoard size munitions dumps for the frozen army.  

Ice Aircraft Carrier.  Back when Canada had battleships, the Navy was looking at building a third great fleet based out of Churchill, Manitoba.  There are still some fragments on the internet about the design  'Habakkuk' class.  The real ones built are much larger.  There are three of them, hidden somewhere in the ice pack of the forbidding north.  They have a crew of frozen sailors, of course, and the most advanced weapons of 1947.  Nobody knows where they are. 

Zeppelins.  Back when a pilot was expected to carry a pistol so he could shoot enemy pilots in the heart, the Germans decided that a water cooled, belt fed machine gun was a better choice for their air supremacy budget.  The Zeppelin program was the answer for a big, heavy aerial platform to carry water cooled, belt fed machine guns.  The Nazis greatly developed this technology.  Two advanced prototypes were flown to Canada in 1946.  Nobody seems to know what happened to them.  No known pictures or diagrams.  We do not even have verbal descriptions.  

Time Travel.  None of the Allied powers wanted time travel back in 1945.  The other powers gave it to Canada just to be mean.  A few eccentric Nazi scientists were settled around London, Ontario, where they would blend in.  A workshop was constructed, with the co-operation of the General Electric company, the world leader in time travel technology at that time.  Those of you familiar with the 'Philadelphia Experiment' know that specialized equipment for that project came from GE's Ward Street facility in Toronto. The small building that once housed the prototype has vanished. You will never see anyone in uniform near the site. There is a wall of silence. 

Oil and Vinegar based weapons. Strange stories about salad dressing were whispered for decades by Canadian soldiers.  Sometimes you had hot sauce, sometimes you had horseradish. Who really prepares the food? Were they visitors from another planet? Sex tourists, having group sex with eager recruits? Of course, we now know that oil and vinegar salad dressing prepares the human body for trips to the moon. How did they know to do this back then, unless they have forgotten right now? 

These mysteries can be pondered.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.