When I think about lifeboats, I like to think about who I have aboard. I think about DEI. I think, are they plump? I like the plumpers. It is my own word. You can use if for air raid shelters, too. People bring their pets to the air raid shelter. Plumpers and poodles. Budgies like to fly away. But you can catch a dog. I am a vegan in sunlight. In my air raid shelter, I have a hot plate.
For older men, the onset of Eternal War is good news! Lots of job categories opening up. One of which is Air Raid Warden. Here are the Top 5 ways to make money as an Air Raid Warden in mostly peaceful times.
Look at this. It is a kit, just like IKEA. A pop up machine gun. Same size as a car tire. It pops up and down. You can install it into your front lawn. Nobody will see it. Until you need it. Then, no more howling tomcat, eh? No loud parties. It comes in a box. You should have one. You live in Bracondale, eh? The municipal strong man there, he will pay for your pop up machine gun. He is your friend. He wants a safe community. A community with interlaced lanes of fire and no dead ground is a safe community.
Victory Coffee
Time for diversionary reading. How about this (link)? The Halls of Macadamia is one of my regular reads.
As for soothing visual images while I drink Victory Coffee and have a Victory Muffin, try this. I like watching this.
Being on top of army stuff is a great way to show enthusiasm for the current thing. But you should watch your mouth. Careerist informers are everywhere. Here are the Top 5 things not to talk about with your military awareness group at work.
Aries: Tuesday at Midnight you have an appointment with destiny. Electrical devices spark attention. Road rage figures prominently in your public spaces on Wednesday, but do not let that distance you from the thrill of victory. Saturday, you are a step closer to slaking your lusts.
Taurus: Your skill in love making engenders envy. You have a secret admirer who will approach you with a porno movie script and storyboards. Music moves you, but the air raid sirens make you run. Thursday is an auspicious day for buying real estate. Wear a mask for your Saturday debut and you can keep your day job.
Gemini: Your problem solving skills are now legendary, Gemini. On Wednesday, an energy based life form proposes a quest, but it is disguised as home repair. At the end of the week, on Saturday, you will associate a bad smell with a famous movie personality. You make sense.
Cancer: A new technology is revealed on Wednesday, and gets used on Saturday. You can get your hands on one for free, but wait for next week after the sales hype has cleared. A shipment of military equipment will delay your commute on Thursday. You will find your lost keys. There is a present from your friends in Ontario in the shipment.
Leo: Cut your problems up into pieces. Wrap them up and put them into the refrigerator of the mind; in the morning, someone has come and eaten them. You can feed the leftovers to the toilet. A powerful entity watches over you, but is itself a far worse driver. Driving with your eyes closed is not a good idea this week, Leo.
Virgo: A timely review of your plans for the invasion of Earth is avoided at midnight on Tuesday. Bags of money come to you, but they are re-gifted. Beware of the things that find their way to the bottom of used bags of strangers. You will be convinced that mad men are in control of your municipal electrical utility on Saturday.
Libra: Your latent supernatural powers manifest on Tuesday, at midnight. Well, one of them at least. You are promoted from street crime to a numbers job in bunko. An unfortunate accident at midnight on Friday will leave you without an unbitten pair of gloves. Do not open the door for someone soliciting for Rabies Awareness on Saturday night, either.
Scorpio: A tragic misunderstanding at a witch burning will get you out of bed in recognition of your respected status in the community. This will happen Tuesday at midnight. An investment in goodwill involves handing over bags of wood, accelerants, and, sparklers for the kids to your neighbors at a community event.
Sagittarius: Nobody who has actually been to a witch burning could complain about it like the random primate you meet at a community event on Tuesday evening. A cracked Ford engine block is not a pronoun. The undead spirit of gluttony shows up as a reflection in your television as Raymond Burr. If you can get him to stop eating roast beef and gravy he may answer your questions.
Capricorn: Your dreams of world domination are coming true. A present from a doting War God arrives around midnight, on Tuesday. You look good in a uniform. A taste of the lifestyle of municipal strong men happens at your Saturday place of debauchery. The face slap is back in employee/employer relations. Practice not laughing.
Aquarius: Sexual hijinks and a mysterious clue of a scented wig in a leather boot add to the quest for acceptable public transit in your town. Your home computer has been co-opted by a rogue AI; you now can write over several numbers on your bank statement, edit credit scores, and, bump up share holdings in your brokerage account. There will be a quid pro quo with the AI with a happy outcome at midnight Saturday. You look good in fire light at a fire fight.
Pisces: A Xipe Totec like entity has moved into your work place computer system. Change your skin at your own peril on these machines without making offerings of tomatoes, beans, and, peppers. When accidents occur at work, secretly make a thank you offering of coffee and a donut to Xipe Totec. Your co-workers will think you a ghoul, so do this in secret.
With only 320 days left until Christmas, you need to pause for a moment and read these top 5 Christmas shopping tips for February, 2024! Traditionally, February is the month that Black History gear goes on sale.
Conceal a surveillance camera. You want a time stamped record of your hours working at your desk. This will throw some water on the staged or fake rape that some careerist cabal has put together to remove you as a competitor. You can also spot the coworkers who take your stuff, put batteries in your trash, or have sex on your desk when you are not there.
Trust nobody. Nobody trusts 'friends' in the workplace. If they do, they are either naive or they are working a hustle. They could be working a hustle on you.
Side hustle awareness. Employers tolerate side hustles because they are afraid of the Rotherham effect. Realize that an employer, to get rid of a side hustler, will usually chop a bunch of people at the same time, so the mass firing reflects diversity. If you are seen to be a little too close to the one intended victim, you could get bundled up with the purged.
Hide your light under a basket. Remember you are dealing with a hierarchy that got those fat pay checks and perks not for being competent, but for being green. They do not like competence, because it makes them look like a racist stereotype. Do the minimum. See how much other people are doing, and do as little as them. You do not want to be a target.
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.
You can dig your own, but why have to? You have friends. We are friends. Your friends will dig the tunnel. They already know how! Our friends! They come at night, in the rental van. Everyone can see it, the bright, happy colors! You will have the tunnel you want under your house. The tunnel you deserve.
A beautiful tunnel. Toronto needs more tunnel space. There is a housing crisis! You can help! Rooms are 2500 a month. You can have four rooms down there. Ten thousand a month! For you! Every month. For your pocket. Cash.
Your friends will build the tunnel. They do good work. They are top notch. I know how you feel. I have felt the same way. I have found that borrowing the money to build the tunnel I want to make lots of cash fast is always a good idea. I will lend you the money. I care.
You are just a few feet away from your dreams. An electrician will come to tap into your neighbors service. You will save money, right away! A wise man does not stand behind the elephants tail. This is progress.
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.
My friend makes hundreds of dollars a month killing chickens. You can too. It is easy. They do not fight back. You want a job? My friend will give you money to help him with his chickens. He lost his eye to a chicken. He needs help. It is easy work.
Everyone eats chicken. You can sell it door to door. Even if you sell your chicken for a dollar, you will make money. There are government grants. Government money. But you must have the feathers to get the paycheck. There is a phone app that does all the paper work. You will understand when the time comes.
I know how you feel. I have felt the same way. I have found that borrowing money to get the equipment you need to make lots of cash fast is always a good idea. You do not need to borrow the money. I will lend it to you. I care.
You are just a handshake away from your dreams. A plumber will come to you with the equipment. Everything will make sense. Chickens are comforting.
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.
Aries: Your old pal, The Earth Shaker, has fun stuff planned for Thursday. All day long. Before that is the planning. You get to plan, Aries. There is a place for you there, filled with longing for your presence. And, they need your get shit done super power. The day of fun stuff ends with a midnight uproar, so avoid crowds around that time.
Taurus: Wednesday at noon is a propitious time to receive the deed to a new property, Taurus. A gangster's treasure is hidden there. It is all for you, Taurus. Every pretty bauble. Later on Wednesday, some of the office staff will try to run away when they see what is going on in the news. Use your Taurus charm to keep them distracted until your new deed is in your hands.
Gemini: In the hours approaching midnight on Monday, you will receive guidance from a higher power. Tuesday you should take an inventory of your pens and pencils and retain only those that meet or exceed your expectations of excellence. Nobody wants a blobby pen when they are signing over money. You will win the lottery, despite distractions.
Cancer: The news will panic some people on Wednesday, and you will wonder why they did not panic with what went on Sunday. Perhaps it is time to restart your bootleg borscht business as a side hustle. Rum running is predictable cash, but borscht lets you virtue signal. The ring tone on something gets changed Tuesday.
Leo: You are propelled towards self aggrandizement by extraterrestrial influencers. Thursday, a disguised alien artifact announces that it wants its battery charged. Your secret identity is under scrutiny by agents of an extraterrestrial corporation. You are the best person to keep secrets.
Virgo: War profiteering becomes easier with your new phone app. On Tuesday, take your skill set into electronic gizmos. The excitement outside on Wednesday is just that, outside. Saturday at midnight is auspicious for a lottery win.
Libra: Thursday, an overweight tradesman will shapeshift into a sexy time traveler sex tourist. Your DNA is wanted for a prototype. You discover a secret recording of you smashing a fly into a grisly stain on an insect snuff porn site. If you actually had control of your original content, you would have a healthy sum waiting for you on your next trip to the Moon.
Scorpio: Monday at High Noon, you have an appointment with Destiny, Scorpio. Are you the message or the messenger? The earth will shake when you click your heels together with your magic slippers. A sinkhole of burning sulfur opens up close to where the church was burnt down.
Sagittarius: In the early hours of Monday, an evil dream will come to you compelling you to the shopping mall closest to your isp address. Medusa is shopping there, too. Take all your magic gear, Sagittarius. These bargains are worth a lifetime! Maybe bring someone you do not like, so they can become lawn sculpture.
Capricorn: Side hustle is set to acceleration, Capricorn. Add Goon to your Human Resources line up. Your email is the same as a sex symbol on another planet. A gift of ice skates will unmask the secret of your secret admirer. You will find another note in the martini glass.
Aquarius: A work of agriculture worthy of a Babylonian king is yours to make, Aquarius. On your trestleboard add additonal amulets to shape your future status. You will find great bargains when you shop for fresh fruit. The voices on the phone are not human.
Pisces: You are approached to take on a script for a woke remake of Cthullu, and you are told Taylor Swift has already been signed. Are you sick of the lies, Pisces? Who is this guy on the phone? Is it an evil AI, programmed by a bitter, self taught burnt out telemarketer, sent to punish society for an unhappy love life? Better, give them a few of the names from your shit list, as people really interested in woke remakes of Cthullu. Win both ways, Pisces!
Should I have warned Gollum, the homeless guy? He was going through some stuff left out in the trees. This is the park at the north west of Davenport and Bathurst. Gollum did not know whose stuff it was. An organized ring of specialty sex workers use that beach blanket for afternoon love making. There was a purse bag with lube and condoms. I see a problem here. I walk away.
What color do you want? The Russian blue house cat makes a sexy, babe magnet head of hair. You can never tell it is not real. And it sheds, just like real hair.
Have a drink.
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.
