I Had A Dream

 

I had a dream last night and I couldn't stop thinking about it all day today. There were a few obvious messages in my dream, and I'd like to share these messages with you.

Last night I had a dream that I was a waiter in a small mom & pop greasy spoon restaurant somewhere up north in God-knows-where Canada. All my customers were of East Indian descent, so I figured I must have been somewhere in Ontario.

For some reason I was outside serving a large group of East Indian customers instead of being inside the restaurant. Which was fine with me as I like the outdoors. 

Only the men ordered, and they all ordered beer. They all ordered the same kind of beer except for the last guy who ordered a beer called Millionaire. There's no such beer in Canada called Millionaire, but in my dream I just wrote it down on a small piece of paper like I've heard that beer ordered a thousand times.

I took their order and went inside the restaurant. Except when I went in it was no longer a restaurant, but a lake. I was standing on a dock with a bunch of small boats and I decided to jump in one and take it for a ride. In non-dream reality I have never driven a boat before, or at least not driven one when I was sober. But in dreamland I had no problem driving a boat, it all seemed so natural.

I drove around and pretty much nothing happened other than a big fish started swimming beside me. I'm not a big fan of fish, so I reached over and grabbed an oar and beat it to death as I drove the boat. Even in my dream I remember being impressed by my skill or driving and killing at the same time.

I then remembered that I was supposed to get those East Indian guys their beer, and decided to drive back to shore. In dream time, I must have been out on that lake for 3 hours. Yet, even though I know customer service is everything in the restaurant business, I couldn't care less that I left those guys waiting forever. Then again, I'm pretty cool, so there's that.

 When I got back to the restaurant, everything looked completely different. Inside the restaurant there were only 2 guys sitting at a table. They had their shirts off and they were completely white, they were also smoking corncob pipes. They may have been snowmen, I don't even remember, things got kind of blurry.

Anyway, I woke up from my dream and went to the toilet and took a pee.

Having thought about this dream all day, I came to 2 major conclusions that I just knew I had to share with you immediately.

1) Dreams are stupid as hell. There might be the odd one that slips by that's OK, but by-and-large, every dream since the beginning of mankind has been utterly ridiculous.

2) Being a waiter is an absolutely dead-end job. It's not a career, it's a slow motion death sentence.