Aries: You will improve on everything you have ever learnt about technology this week. Mysteries from the past are explained, and new abilities are added to your arsenal. This builds over the week to a climax on Tuesday, with another quantum improvement on Thursday. Prepare to find yourself impressive.
Taurus: Your week begins with you changing your energy state from the practical to the transcendent when you comprehend and manifest the dialectic of the irresistible force and the immovable object. Better yet, on Tuesday you achieve status of the irresistible object and the immovable force. You will discover that you have a powerful alien derived app on your cell phone.
Gemini: Tuesday at 6am you experience a quantum change of comprehension of pretty much all of the material world. Your morning commute to work will be punctuated with violations of the law of gravity. Excitement continues until the climax episode on Thursday, when you get to apply dialectical thinking to real world social issues.
Cancer: People behave strangely around you until Wednesday morning, when their religious side is revealed. Prepare to have religion pushed at you even as you fine tune your own beliefs which are expanded a quantum level through a rabbit hole on the internet. Friday evening, after supper, an angry mob rages through shopping venues, much to your amusement.
Leo: External irritations transform Tuesday morning as insights into those irritating people flesh out your model of human behavior. Thursday morning promises some news for others which will simplify your plans for the month; nothing unexpected, for sure. Give yourself credit for spotting the pattern.
Virgo: You already understand the concept of dialectical thinking, and on Tuesday around 6am you get a chance to place it into your world model, making you a master of four dimensional chess. Which you already are, but this is just another way to solve the same set of problems. Which is interesting, and the true utility of this becomes manifest as a previously unknown set of settings on your cell phone gives you power over machines. You are Skynet.
Libra: Things that you once desired become obtainable, but your desires shift on Tuesday, leaving you holding a bag of money, but wistful for a decent bag with proper handles and water resistant fabric. Avoid accessories that could trigger magnetic mines. You can modify laser emitters with magnets for fun and profit, but the magnet you need is best left in the car.
Scorpio: You will receive a lengthy apology from a miscreant on Thursday at noon. This does not obligate you to get your hands dirty, and, anyway, they should have acknowledged your good taste sense. People are devoid of reason, but your downside is not having enough room in your pockets for all the money they are giving you. Besides, you are more aware of how many germs are crawling around on cash which gives you some second thoughts about digital ID.
Sagittarius: Old fashioned solutions to human resources problems, like walling them up in the basement, come into perspective when your mind is complicated with comprehension of dialectical thinking. The permutations that arise from the collision of projection and empathy increase your understanding of the Tetrarchy of Diocletian. You pick the right side in wagers on sea battles.
Capricorn: You already made a hit on the stage, and you certainly know that being a character actor is better than anything else. An offer to be an assassination double is made on noon Friday.
Aquarius: You will not have time to keep notes, so just speak your ideas into a tape recorder. Your understanding of the world is five minutes ahead of other people, but their heads can explode when this happens, so, effectively, you have a five minute grace period to protect yourself. You have friends amongst the space aliens, apparently. Just pretend you recognize them in their combat suits.
Pisces: If people listened to your good advice, they would not have to suffer like they are going to do this week. Take advice on diet for example; it does take a few days for a balanced diet to have effect. This is of no use if you are trying to get into a general purpose sized space suit; and the air lock timer is being hogged by someone with a hearing problem. It will make sense later.
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.
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