Three planets struggle for domination of the stars. The Piscean cabal of Jupiter and Neptune takes on Aquarian Saturn. The Praetorians have changed sides, but the secret is not out yet.
Aries: Running away and hiding is a trendy way to solve problems, Aries. Your role models in government are doing it, why aren't you? You know the answer to that one. A mob action on Tuesday will bring out your problem solving skills. These are other peoples problems, by the way.
Taurus: There is a big party being planned, Taurus, and everybody wants you to come. You are sexually irresistable, an entree with free beer at the restaurant of the universe. Tuesday is a planning session, a dry run, a time to contemplate a proper arrangement of cutlery.
Gemini: You are being drawn into areas of experience that are intense. The pressure builds all week until Saturday. You will be given a message, a mission. Power, no longer secure, seeks information. Maybe they are asking the wrong question, and maybe you should do their thinking for them.
Cancer: Monday through Wednesday, life is just a big party. And then, after a few days of necessary recovery (and some laundry, fresh socks, and some sexy underwear) an even bigger party on the weekend! Only the doomed show you a sour face.
Leo: Well, the crisis passes and you find yourself in a parallel universe. If you have been through this before, you know the drill: right handed now left handed, the swirl of the toilet, the smirking house cat that knows too much ... Anyway, the leadership here are competing to be textbook examples of failure.
Virgo: Masked men are at your door demanding your food and money. It is a good cause, but their marketing needs work. Should you feel bad for not knowing the pronouns of the guys holding a gun to your head? You are on the highway to madness. Will a trucker save you?
Libra: Memories of a past life will come to you on Tuesday. You won't make the same mistakes today like you did way back then. With Jordan Peterson cast in the role of Landru, the law giver, you will argue with the director about your lines and be convincing.
Scorpio: Being on the wrong side as an underfunded mercenary is a poor life choice you learnt some several life times agao, Scorpio. Edge your way towards the supply wagons; perhaps a ruse, like, 'I forgot to take my medication!' will work before the rampaging Scots horde arrives. Remember the healing powers of oatmeal.
Sagittarius: Time to step over the dog poop on the sidewalk; you have run out of courtesy bags. You will find yourself on the right side, but getting there may involve some thinking outside the box.
Capricorn: You will have a prophetic dream pretty much any night this week if you perform the cleansing ritual before sleep. Keep a notebook and pen beside your night cap. On the other hand, nobody much listens to you when you get spiritual, anyway. Oh well. Your understanding of fiat currency will make you rich.
Aquarius: All this talk of civil war is just distracting you from the real conspiracy which is the depth of space alien meddling in municipal politics and bylaw enforcement. People are waking up, and on the right side of the bed, too.
Pisces: You will win the lottery this week, Pisces. The only conditions are ones you impose on yourself. You can choose a future where the Utopian people are in ABBA fashions, or something inspired by yourself.
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