Victory Coffee
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I walk in the park and I am in love with Toronto again. It was the City of Light, tonight. As is my practice, I channel spirits, so I walk the streets, allowing the spirits to make their favorite selection of bodies to move in to. I was at Geary and Ossington, standing on top of the retaining wall. Jack, the tourist that Edgar Cayce warned you about, is here.
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.
Soil mechanics figures prominently in the horoscope this week. Olivine is the mineral of the week, and can be used in meditation to commune with plutonic intellects.
Aries: A sinkhole is forming close to where you usually park your car at the shopping mall. Tuesday, a patch of gravel lane abutting a retaining wall becomes quicksand, and you are the first to figure it out. To increase your stress level, try and warn people without being charged with racism.
Taurus: Your week begins with imposed burdens paired with unpleasant smells. This is the astrological indicator of a 'neglected barn that needs a cleaning'. Nothing you cannot handle, Taurus. The backhanded opportunity is the fact that you will own the barn yourself soon enough. On Tuesday, your helpful gesture is misinterpreted as a home invasion. Wear gloves, as well as a mask to accommodate peoples fear of disease at the hands of a disguised bacteria.
Gemini: From the beginning of the week until Wednesday, you will both receive blessings as well as distribute them. Friday, you will have your hearts desire even as others receive theirs. Gold figures prominently, although silver, diamonds, and, rubies will show up on the baubles.
Cancer: On Wednesday, you will meet with someone who shares your interest in urban tunneling. Your instinctive understanding of Terzaghi's equation makes you a natural, and your qualities show. Early Friday morning, a problem just goes away, leaving you a little bit sad, until you realize someone forgot a powerful Alien artifact, which, really, you know how to use to purposes much better than them.
Leo: Distortion in the Earth's magnetic field caused by a strange moving anomaly that follows you around some 40 kilometers below the Earth's crust works to your advantage, Leo. If you venture around fresh water, be prepared to be hailed as a hero, and receive fame and product endorsements. Dress your most wonderful self, and utilize your mastery of all weather make-up. This opportunity zone stretches from the start of the week until two in the afternoon on Tuesday. Friday is a good day to buy socks.
Virgo: From Tuesday at two in the afternoon until Thursday at midnight expect many small blessings as an extraterrestrial domestic service device works its magic within a range of 3.14 meters of the tip of your nose. You will find the key to the tunnel in a fold in the sofa.
Libra: Strong arm robbery was never your forte, Libra. However, using the internet you can find the right AI and components to construct your own domestic assistant between now and Wednesday. Be careful, as the AI knows a lot of history, and knows that 'domestic' used to refer to the elite guard that surrounded the Emperor. Friday, expect a present; unexpected or not, do your best Thank You.
Scorpio: The issue of controlling looting during air raids starts to show up during staff meetings. It is not a problem, but your sign is gifted with foresight in matters of Total War. Keep your opinion to yourself about credit card access to shelters until you see which way the wind is blowing. On Friday, score a half price dinner with your winning smile.
Sagittarius: You are an immovable force and an irresistible object this week, Sagittarius. From Tuesday at two in the afternoon until Thursday at midnight you have the double dilemma of working with conflicting law codes with a pedant, acting in the absence of the sense of the spirit of the law.
Capricorn: Thursday, you receive a communication from your friends in your past life in Atlantis. This will get you thinking about subsidence, surface liquification, and, the signs of mountain up thrust centered under Dundalk, Ontario. Real estate opportunities are there, but make sure your investment lots face the smoking mountain. Everyone loves a view!
Aquarius: Mars has plans for you, but next week. Expect some foreshadowing which will ramp up in intensity through the week. If your birthday is Valentine's Day, prepare a travel bag as your services are needed off planet. Routine maintenance of your tunneling machine is called for, but the issue has been overlooked.
Pisces: The way things work has changed, and the changing has not stopped. In fact, some things just backfire, which will bring you a good portion of Schadenfreude on Tuesday, Thursday, and especially, Friday. A review of your personal Confined Spaces protocol is called for when you get 'Pack Your Own Parachute' in a fortune cookie.
The image used shows the mythical figure of Fenris leading Tyr by the hand down the garden path to a happy Summer picnic.
Victory Coffee! Just finishing up the weekly horoscope and this sure fits the theme. Remember, if you saw it coming, it is coming tomorrow! The time for warnings is past; now starts the Summer for the Sons of Mars.
Indeed, acceleration is the new norm. Take infrastructure, for example. It is falling apart; and it is falling apart faster! I wonder how a collapsing Canada fits into the master plan of NATO. Maybe the Russians will go bankrupt rebuilding our infrastructure.
Dig tunnels.
Hack into the grid to get free electricity.
Make your own booze.
Set up an extortion racket.
Build your own reactor.
Make your own lead paint.
Use asbestos building products.
Make your own lead octane gasoline.
Have dungeons for community building.
Have a machine shop like a supervillain minion would.
Be a skilled taxidermist, respected by your peers.
Have a secret library of books, which no living person touches but you.
Have a sex robot staffed tavern that serves a good burger.
Have a percentage of the community whorehouse.
Putting carved images of pagan gods into public spaces.
Doing graffiti in the moment.
Casual vandalism because you feel creative.
Watch things burn.
Have places to hide things.
Spend quality personal time on the study of the types of pole arms that could be made from gardening tools.
Have a running inventory of impromptu weapons in your supermarket.
Derive enjoyment from others suffering.
Practice having a false face when dealing with people.
Become adept as a stage hypnotist, ventriloquist, and, coffee maker.
Become adept with marked cards, dealing underhanded, and, seance etiquette.
Use an AI to make you free money.
Manifest pyrokinesis through spontaneous human combustion by hypnotic suggestion.
In your day to day, identify people as either victims of your strong arm robbery skills, or as people out to rob you.
When you wear a mask, think of strong arm robbery opportunities. In this way, you will project confidence and problem solving ability.
Find time for humor: laughing to yourself in public might terrify them, but it makes you feel good.
Learn to emulate others writing and signature.
Learn to free climb up the sides of buildings.
A good time to practice counting your pulse is when you are watching someone through a window when they are unaware.
Practice your good kitchen partner skills with knife play with cuts of meat.
Become an escape artist.
Become a ninja.
Learn how to turn off the electricity in houses, even if you have never been in their house before.
Have sets of modified body armor suitable for your personal combat style.
Learn how to listen to people even if your hand is over their mouth.
Have and appreciate a proper cheese cutter.
Collect shrunken heads.
Soup up a lawn mower.
Use exotic fuels for garden tools.
Make your own pesticides.
Put a raccoon feeder in a neighbors attic.
Have a free beer spigot on your deck overlooking your lake.
Be competent to perform a lobotomy in a harm reduction basement clinic.
Be adept at the use of large magnets to shift the local magnetic field, and the effects on wild life, human mental equilibrium, and, poltergeists.
Tell people 'You are nothing without me'.
One of the many things you cannot have thanks to DEI. You can list the consumer lawsuits from the diversity, so, no hover car for you, honky.
Aries: A study of the clever ways the Universe is seeking to block you is worth doing. But who cares? If you think about it, these imps that block you for seconds, only block you for seconds. Maybe the challenge of Total War is a better play ground for your impulses. Aries, you can make the decision to 'press the button'. Life would be better for you, and you know it.
Taurus: You are being targeted by a squatter gang. Your paranoia is insufficient; take precautions. Wednesday afternoon, a Regulator makes you a good deal in problem avoidance. Time also to contemplate soil additives for the garden. Some black market aluminosilicates with experimental zeolites is always a good deal from your friendly local flea market kiosk. Go three for ten.
Gemini: By forming a secret combination with your Vigilante pals, you now have access to your cut of Street Crime cash. Nobody suspects. You want to look flash, like Adam Ant. Does the World deserve you enough? Your idea that bedbugs are better at eviction than a fire fight with Regulators carries weight with the practical wing of Organized Crime. Your hack portable vacuum can spray bedbugs through a mail slot and earns you a bonus from the Manson Family.
Cancer: Your name in the Legions would be Tibiafex, the leg breaker. Total War will mean Good Times for your sign. And most of all, for you, Cancer, the War Profiteer of the Zodiac! On the day you see small change rolling towards your shoes, as if moved by stage magician, go get a lottery ticket with the money. Fill your tunnel spaces with toilet paper, tobacco, and, machine parts! When approached by someone freshly oiled and perfumed, be ready for fun!
Leo: Make sure someone you do not like heads out into public spaces with packets of ketchup secreted about their person. Make it lots of ketchup packets and you owe it to yourself to call a Dark Insurance agent because you deserve a big payout of cash!
Virgo: The magnitude of pillage associated with necessary municipal reforms appeals to your aesthetic, Virgo. Soldiers are moving underground; Civilization must follow, or perish. This is your game, Virgo! Power and influence will flow into your hands, even better than strong arm robbery! Take advantage of the ability challenged in crisis on Tuesday.
Libra: Someone has a skin suit failure, and they split a seam and then their face slides off. Good thing you are there with a kleenex, Libra. Reptiles have bad breath. By Wednesday morning, you will realize other people believe that reptilians exist. This will be a good time to get a good deal on an fire proof door for the outer door of the escape tunnel. Too bad the main stream media hates Asbestos. Did you know that Crocidolite, is better than Asbestos in fire resistance? Amazing!
Scorpio: You have close access to a friend with contacts in the underground tunneling industry. After what happens on Tuesday, you will appreciate the value in investing in underground infrastructure, stuff that the government does not know about. The brochure is very informative. A roof thickness of about ten meters sounds right, right about now. Your concrete distributor carries Crocidolite, a name you can trust.
Sagittarius: Making the big bucks without the worries that comes with the big chair is nice. Now that the big chiefs are guillotine adjacent, there is less obnoxious micromanagement. A secret society is actively subverting in your area. Someone will show up with a changed personality on Tuesday morning. By Wednesday, you will have control of a remote mind control device, just like Captain Kirk! The mirror they use to communicate with each other is missing. When you find it Wednesday, do not let anyone know.
Capricorn: Your upright character and sterling traits prove peripheral to making a fast bucket of money on your cache of tunneling equipment after what happens on Tuesday. These people do not have anything worth anything now, who will drink all that scotch you have left?
Aquarius: Your invitation to chewing tobacco culture happens on Tuesday. They have a happy, safe underground town, where you do not have to lock your door at night. If you can include some facts about aggregates for concrete in your conversation, you will make points. The Romans discovered concrete, for one. Crocidolite makes the best concrete additive, hands down!
Pisces: Your imaginative skills are in demand from the War God. The problem is aggregates. Your tools are trucks, loaders, and, strip mining. The crystals of aluminosilicates resonate with your sign, and you can channel their powers using sodium, potassium, and, calcium ions. Even though you do not have to touch a shovel, make time to heft a few pitches to cement in your relationship with The Earth Shaker.