Tuesday is an auspicious day. Venus takes the crown with the Sun, Jupiter, and, Uranus in attendance. However, in the first act, Venus squares Pluto, which is to say 'government action triggers revolt'. While constitutionally legitimate, the co-opted judiciary and academia, themselves are revolted. Simultaneously, the angry People* are given a focus to their anger by the actions of a co-opted judiciary**; for that matter, elements within the judiciary and academia have decided to secretly support the reactionaries***. After sunset on Tuesday, the People become aware of the power they have.
Aries: Your fishing adventure ends on Wednesday with you holding the prize. Your interest in programmable earth moving equipment is topical, and you will be presented with a string of typical problems each day after Wednesday. There is an organized conspiracy to thwart your parking choices; one of them will fall into your clutches on Saturday. Loosen their tongue with your charm, Aries.
Taurus: Tuesday is a good day to get that winning lottery ticket you have been wanting since the ides of March. Things get even better on Wednesday, when the local black market has a new small engine repair kiosk. Of course, the time travelling sex tourists find you irresistible. If you keep the lights off, you will not have to cope with the constant name changes. The special shoes you got from SPECTRE have a number of attachments that are fun as well as practical.
Gemini: Out thinking everyone is less of an advantage when it is nap time at the office. This week, you will have your work done by the time the talentless agree on pronouns for the paper clips. Get them when they are asleep. You will look back on this moment when you are supervising civil servants to dig an anti-tank ditch around a strongpoint outside of Kleinberg.
Cancer: Tuesday is a case in point, Cancer. Rival sex circles take each other on in full drag conflict, with a flash mob of journos in Antifa drag taking on the leather sadists pretending to be po-po. Somehow, this will turn into an advantageous real estate transaction for you, Cancer. Wear gloves for your own protection when you get first dibs on battlefield pillage. How many properties can you squat without your family knowing?
Leo: Looks like the tickets for your off planet vacation are ready and will arrive Tuesday. It is not until noon on Monday, May 13 that you take the shuttle to Saturn. Nothing is really happening right now. Relax. Do not turn on the internet. Listen to the outside. No sirens, are there? Relax. Binge watch something.
Virgo: You will miss out on the hands on action in all three of the world crisis events that happen on Tuesday. After Tuesday, everyone will be including tunneling in their spring gardening plans. You can exploit this knowledge by stocking up on tunneling tools using your coupon savings.
Libra: Your impressive accomplishments bear fruit on Tuesday when you are rewarded with a Triumph. Unfortunately, organized crime, in the form of government regulations, cramps your style. The low-Q hires want to shake you down for more no-work and no-show jobs. Take advantage of slow police response time and work out your frustrations with some Iroquois culture. Clothes line a shop lifter as they run by. Your legions will love you for it!
Scorpio: You are being pushed into making decisions about things you do not want to make decisions about. Can not people just leave things alone? Knowing that Vigilantes make the best Regulators will help you in a Human Resources decision later in the week.
Sagittarius: A tape recording of a cat vomiting up a hair ball is a good starting point for an auto dialer campaign to market your world view. The idea that the Russians will use 'chem trail' weather control technology to drown Europe in a few feet of rain is fake news. Russians use metric, not feet.
Capricorn: The best the Universe can throw at you is to have you clean up a puddle of dog piss. You have arrived, Capricorn. Your karmic debt for endless past lives is paid. Abandon yourself to simple pleasures. Prepare to enjoy the spectacle of Total War! To enjoy the finest pizza and ice cold beer on your sofa in your enclave! Let the earth shake, it refreshes your beer! The burning people remind you to have a chicken wing with hot sauce! Aaaargh!
Aquarius: The role of Lawgiver is up for grabs, and the whole Zodiac knows that you are going to get the job. Get your mind wrapped around the problem of branding, of marketing, for this Total War period of commerce. Maybe some decent counter icons for those maps they like to show on the TV in the air raid shelters.
Pisces: A show of force is the display of strength you need to cement your control over the turbulent north-central tribes of your northern front. Success is measured in yards of concrete in the army fighting during the age when soldiers are underground. How long can your facade of innocence fool the eyes of the Russian Artillery? Maybe you should wear a disguise when you walk under the sun.
* Moon in Capricorn
**Jupiter conjunct Uranus
***Moon trine Jupiter/Uranus
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