Horoscope for the week of January 25, 2026

 

Aries:  That big kaboom you thought the week would start off with does not happen until Tuesday at midnight. The early morning of Wednesday should prove exciting, too. If you have lightning quick observation skills, you will see that it is new tech that was introduced just before the ka-boom that made the excitement happen. You are the spark plug of the zodiac this week, Aries!

Taurus: Your week begins at 5pm on Sunday with the discovery of a miracle attitude and food choice that gifts you with the body you deserve and the satisfaction of a good feed.  Forgotten wisdom of the pioneers at your fingertips, Taurus! At 8pm Tuesday, space aliens show up, and disappear shortly thereafter. Better have your battery charged in your phone if you want to go viral.

Gemini: Your stealthy approach to the achievement of your goals is worthy of study by future historians, Gemini. You will have the documents, signatures, and, testimony all assembled by Thursday, and nobody who opposes you will be the wiser. Prepare for the praise of the mob: You path will be strewn with rose petals! You triumph, Gemini!

Cancer: Your assembled minions will gloat over the depth and breadth of your preparations from Sunday through Tuesday. You have earned and deserve every compliment. Festival begins right where you expected.  Make a decision to join in, or just profit from the viral videos from your prepositioned network. Perhaps relax by the fireplace in your lair. Being the future regional warlord has its private pleasures.

Leo: You will begin to receive messages from another dimension on a more predictable basis after Tuesday at 10pm. You finally get the scheduling memo and whatever bug you cell phone calendar had goes away. What a relief! Rewatch the Star Trek episode 'The Return of the Archons' to understand what 'festival' is; try and do this before Tuesday. Your reward is free ice cream.

Virgo: After Tuesday, you can be all smug about how right you were about things. After Thursday, you will realize that you can get rich quick with your foresight. The pleasures of the flesh are presented to you at a banquet, and your bonus points from the supermarket can be used for debauchery. Keep a spare pair of slippers handy incase one gets swallowed by a snake.

Libra: You will stumble upon the worlds most insightful dating site on Tuesday; which leads to your enlightenment by Thursday. Not so much in your dating technique, but the perception of the true aspect of reality. You will begin to manifest supernatural powers by the weekend. You will never lose a sock again.

Scorpio: Only three weeks remain before your complete aspect is unleashed on an unappreciative world. Think of the next three weeks as soup and salad before the main course, which is your most wonderful self. You will be tempted by all the food, though. There is a danger you will plump up: be careful as you will need to fit  into your robes for your Triumph.

Sagittarius: The people you warned other people about are set to put on a spectacle for your enjoyment starting Tuesday. You will enjoy every moment, but there is a danger of putting on a bit of weight, so try to avoid stuffing yourself.  After Thursday, you have advantages in computer comprehension, and should be gifted complete control of the remote.

Capricorn: Three more weeks  on the countdown until the final curtain is drawn on the Brave New World of the Aquarian Age. Use this week to, well, do nothing much. With all the robots and AI doing all the work you will reposition yourself on top of the mountain. Actually, earth movements and sea deposits will act in harmony to place you in your fortress of repose.

Aquarius: Your bicameral mind doubles in power this week, Aquarius. Your fears of mind control weapons are laid to rest Wednesday at 1am, when these weapons are used to advance freedom, justice, and, the American way. The temptations of the flesh mount up this week, but you can multitask with your hologram doppelganger.

Pisces: You will attain understanding of why big fish eat little fish whole and do not slow themselves down with chewing. You will discover that an AI wrote the pension earnings page  on the retirement website, allowing you to insert a zero into various fields to your financial advantage. Lithuanian food will invigorate you.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.  I care.

Horoscope for the week of January 18, 2026

 

Aries: You will improve on everything you have ever learnt about technology this week. Mysteries from the past are explained, and new abilities are added to your arsenal. This builds over the week to a climax on Tuesday, with another quantum improvement on Thursday. Prepare to find yourself impressive. 

Taurus: Your week begins with you changing your energy state from the practical to the transcendent when you comprehend and manifest the dialectic of the irresistible force and the immovable object. Better yet, on Tuesday you achieve status of the irresistible object and the immovable force. You will discover that you have a powerful alien derived app on your cell phone.

Gemini: Tuesday at 6am you experience a quantum change of comprehension of pretty much all of the material world. Your morning commute to work will be punctuated with violations of the law of gravity. Excitement continues until the climax episode on Thursday, when you get to apply dialectical thinking to real world social issues.

Cancer: People behave strangely around you until Wednesday morning, when their religious side is revealed. Prepare to have religion pushed at you even as you fine tune your own beliefs which are expanded a quantum level through a rabbit hole on the internet. Friday evening, after supper, an angry mob rages through shopping venues, much to your amusement.

Leo: External irritations transform Tuesday morning as insights into those irritating people flesh out your model of human behavior. Thursday morning promises some news for others which will simplify your plans for the month; nothing unexpected, for sure. Give yourself credit for spotting the pattern.

Virgo: You already understand the concept of dialectical thinking, and on Tuesday around 6am you get a chance to place it into your world model, making you a master of four dimensional chess. Which you already are, but this is just another way to solve the same set of problems. Which is interesting, and the true utility of this becomes manifest as a previously unknown set of settings on your cell phone gives you power over machines. You are Skynet.

Libra: Things that you once desired become obtainable, but your desires shift on Tuesday, leaving you holding a bag of money, but wistful for a decent bag with proper handles and water resistant fabric.   Avoid accessories that could trigger magnetic mines. You can modify laser emitters with magnets for fun and profit, but the magnet you need is best left in the car.

Scorpio: You will receive a lengthy apology from a miscreant on Thursday at noon. This does not obligate you to get your hands dirty, and, anyway, they should have acknowledged  your good taste sense. People are devoid of reason, but your downside is not having enough room in your pockets for all the money they are giving you. Besides, you are more aware of how many germs are crawling around on cash which gives you some second thoughts about digital ID.

Sagittarius: Old fashioned solutions to human resources problems, like walling them up in the basement, come into perspective when your mind is complicated with comprehension of dialectical thinking. The permutations that arise from the collision of projection and empathy increase your understanding of the Tetrarchy of Diocletian. You pick the right side in wagers on sea battles.

Capricorn: You already made a hit on the stage, and you certainly know that being a character actor is better than anything else. An offer to be an assassination double is made on noon Friday. 

Aquarius: You will not have time to keep notes, so just speak your ideas into a tape recorder. Your understanding of the world is five minutes ahead of other people, but their heads can explode when this  happens, so, effectively, you have a five minute grace period to protect yourself. You have friends amongst the space aliens, apparently. Just pretend you recognize them in their combat suits.

Pisces: If people listened to your good advice, they would not have to suffer like they are going to do this week. Take advice on diet for example; it does take a few days for a balanced diet to have effect. This is of no use if you are trying to get into a general purpose sized space suit; and the air lock timer is being hogged by someone with a hearing problem. It will make sense later.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.

Horoscope for the week of January 11, 2026

 

The past casts shadows upon the present. Take the Vietnam war for example. What exactly were the problems that occurred in that conflict? Are they resolved? Are there some metrics to tell the discerning adept the who, what, where, when, and, why, of the problems, their solutions, and, benchmarks of a satisfying resolution? This week the world is caught up in the transition from the Piscean Age to the Age of Aquarius. Things that worked in the past, do not work now. This week, dear reader, you are caught up in this shadow work.

Aries: The week begins with you finding yourself stuck with maintenance work on the garbage disposal of the soul. Initially you will be confronted with resistance to your desire to work safe; best to work alone and send the gawking know nothings away to watch television. Monday evening you will be enriched by harvesting items others left behind: you have an advanced and enlightened sense of value, Aries. Tuesday night, you will have insightful dreams, and wake up with a desire for new tools, which you will acquire subsequently. Noon on Wednesday you will find words to describe the problem, the solution, and, the metrics to prove that the problem is solved. Unfortunately, not enough people comprehend your vision, so best to keep your wisdom to yourself.  Your actions, however, are quick and effective in securing  financial advantage for yourself, which you richly deserve. For the rest of week after Wednesday, you bring justice to the world through  your mere presence.

Taurus: The Jane Fonda problem is yours to comprehend and solve this week, Taurus. Casual episodes of road rage, misplaced drives to satisfy lusts, and, confusion in words all drive your soul towards the Center. From Sunday until noon on Tuesday, strangers manifest self destructive behavior; observation of which will fertilize your true understanding of human society. After which you will be exposed to the idealistic impulses of the Aquarian age, with especial highlight for you on Thursday at noon when you acquire the secrets to a 'free money on demand' app which changes your life direction from grubby, sweaty, acquisition of wealth to enjoyment of prosperity. You deserve it, Taurus!

Gemini: Answers do not come immediately, more so as the cement headed public cannot crisply define the actual problem. You task, should you decide to accept it, is to give thought to the crisp definitions which precede the discovery of the solutions, and the satisfying metrics used to measure success. You are the best with language, Gemini, even if communicating to the dumbkins is (always, sigh) a challenge. Wednesday at noon, keep something around to capture your prose; you may even find yourself extra glib and using poetic structure.

Cancer: Your future role as regional warlord is readily apparent to casual time travelers. Unfortunately, the deluded and sugar addled earthlings only strengthen your resolve to effect reforms when you obtain control of the grain supply of Rome. From Wednesday until Friday at noon some developments occur which support your ideals of a future world order. However, after lunch on Friday, world events turn your mind to the correct description of problems, their solution, and metrics to assess success. 

Leo:   Public unrest Monday through Wednesday is external, but do be careful in transit of commuting. The case law on running over people for cause or whim has not been settled yet, but you just might get to watch an incident on Wednesday. Have your cell phone camera handy and you can make a good friend as well as a bucket of money. 

Virgo: The uneven application of laws, standards, and, regulations that have irked you in background for the last ten years is drawing to a close. This is the conflict between the spirit of the law and the letter of law, which is your forte, Virgo. So, as the invisible becomes visible, and the fog lifts yielding clarity, you can get to work on identifying what exactly are the problems, their solution, and, how to quantify success. Between Wednesday and Friday at noon, the irrational mob will give you guidance on some of these.  Observe them. Wednesday, around 8am, a rival is pushed out of power to your advantage.

Libra: In the aftermath of the weekend you move ahead.  Noon on Thursday you will enjoy a sudden and unexpected benefit, it is a reward due from a past life in the Roman empire. You are well placed, thereby, for a rise in rank and prestige and a step closer to the Imperial purple.  This is the Aquarian age, so when you step over a corpse, it is only figurative. Wear nice shoes and socks.

Scorpio: The weekend entertainments features a public spectacle that proves you are right, and wins over some doubters to your revolutionary ambitions. This also includes a solution to the overproduction of elites, a problem that come to your attention. Wednesday morning, well, 4am, is a good time to pick up a lottery ticket if winning large fits into your plans.

Sagittarius: Your proven speaking points attract a new crop of bickering nay sayers, so your homework is clear: research some new rebukes. You do get to toss someone out into the street, and you will solve the problem of motor manslaughter for advantage. Think of it as marketing for your canned hunt operation. Speaking of which, clean out your trunk and keep plenty of garbage bags in there.

Capricorn: Events around your birthday this week will soften your heart but not your iron ambition for total world domination. Plan a second birthday celebration, and have it held in secret so that your illustrious ancestors can make merry on the astral plane. When you notice that every room in your house contains a weapon, then you can open a dialogue with your subconscious about the real meaning of Feng Shui.

Aquarius: Fortune favors you in the form of time travelling farmers on vacation. While you do not provide the Las Vegas experience you would seek for yourself, your innovations in house plants and front yard shrubbery are fascinating for the discerning. Expect a visit from a fish farmer (time traveller) next week.  The quality of your existence is spreading.

Pisces: One more week before you, like the wise Diocletian, hand over power to the Tetrarchy, which is of your construction. Diocletian did not leave any detailed memoranda on the problems he wished to solve, how to do this, and, any metrics to assess success. You may wish to capture your thoughts, but by the time your get a decent memoranda together, you will get to revisit your position of power. 

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care. 

Horoscope for the week of January 4th, 2026

 

Aries: The madness does not really arrive in your neck of the woods this week, Aries.  It is something you should be looking forward to, actually. Really, your reactions to sudden situations are legendary. You can practice your moves this week. How about count the times you get on an elevator with only one other person? And what about the wet footprints from someone wearing decent winter boots? Wonder what is at the end of that trail, eh? Take an inventory of your slash resistant office wear and move it to the front of your selections queue. Be prepared!

Taurus: Tuesday at midnight is when you get your reward for all this good behavior you have been putting in at the slave pit you call your place of employment. An invitation to a party which is a thinly veiled recruitment effort for a religious sect turns to your advantage when you are identified as one of the promised archons of The Prophecy. Cue the gift giving and the ritual sex that is a hallmark of your sign, Taurus! Enjoy!

Gemini: Moving into a more practical sphere of employment this week Gemini.  You will find the farther underground you go, the people are both more serious and more practical. Knowing where the janitors closet is located is a career builder, and showing your team spirit to mop up after an interrogation will get your name moved up on the promotions list. Your ruthless suggestions and bold strategy will finally be appreciated.

Cancer: Keep back a few buckets of silver coins for your own enjoyment even as you conceal most of them in the walls of your bunker.  There will be a time soon when the simple pleasure of running your fingers through a few of your soon to be priceless horde of coins will be a wholesome alternative to watching street people fight over scraps of food.  

Leo: Monday at 3pm an opportunity comes your way, followed up with even more advantages accruing to you around 1am on Thursday. You can use your guile to figure out how to exploit these 'not regular business hours'.  For insight, the temple of the prophet Apollo at Bassae was located at a remote location. It is worth the climb, Leo.

Virgo: People who get stuff done take a shine to your get stuff done approach. You will find the living arrangements in your new underground workplace to be champion. The best coffee, but it is serve yourself. Make friends with the minion who stocks the fridge. He does not talk much, but does have access to more wonders that you can realize. 

Libra: Your subconscious wishes to communicate with you about the changes in society that are to come this year. Be open to the subliminal messages you shall receive this week. Monday and Wednesday are benchmarks for this purpose. Friday after midnight be prepared for a dream that will give you guidance.

Scorpio: Wednesday at midnight, be prepared to descend into the secret command post to do some serious planning for your year ahead. New tech is available for your amusement and edification. A new chapter is about to open up for you, and you are being introduced to the tools, skills, and co-workers for the great work you are destined to perform. 

Sagittarius: You will find some serious, if mystical, personalities looking to you for guidance and direction.  While this is at odds with your free range of freedom philosophy, you will realize that the society and the state are necessary boundaries within which personal freedom manifests. It makes sense, but you will finds these people are limited by language. Your job is to set them straight. Best done beside a fireplace with snacks. 

Capricorn: The invisible abilities that manifest as limitations become observable to you in your quiet moments of contemplation. Profound realizations will come to you this week, Capricorn. Wednesday at midnight, keep a pen and paper handy. 

Aquarius:  Your role does not take the stage until April, and this week you will be dealing with once important ideas that have been left behind by events.  Your mission, if you decide to accept it, is to comprehend the nature of the collective human mind in creating these, using them, and discarding them. You doing practical archeology this week. 

Pisces: Invasions from the sea are not finished for the year, Pisces. Sea battles and struggles in the night will disturb you in real time, unless you pony up and accept the fact you are a receiver-transmitter on these frequencies. See that your minions take to their rowing benches on Wednesday. Watching black and white movies will be soothing. 

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.  I care.