Horoscope for the week of November 2, 2025

 

Aries:  Your plot comes to fruition on Wednesday with a lucky intervention by the authorities which ruins the efforts of any sort of counter coup. Think traffic stop or elevator malfunction. Take the spoils of war on Thursday, medieval rules in effect for the duration. Be cautious around electricity; expect a minion to fall to a booby trapped mechanical chicken de-boner.

Taurus: Get your shopping done before 2pm on Tuesday when the unwashed peasants turn up to put the mall to the sack.  You will have the opportunity to beta test your latest electrical personal defense devices; always have suitable filters for the new gas the government is going to use on the looting hordes. Thursday at 2pm the fun stops, you will be impressed that your air conditioner easily scrubs the stench of burnt hair from the outside air.

Gemini: The spirit of the law and meddling moralists complicate your public moments until 2pm on Thursday when the angry mob demands that you do what you wanted to do. Expect angelic powers to obliterate those that oppose you, and, to do so in an entertaining way. Faithful followers will supply you with a souvenir video for you to enjoy in your lair.

Cancer:  Put you efforts into finding the right place to buy the winning lottery ticket that has your name on it this week. The universe is full of distractions; Tuesday around 2pm garden implements manifest maximum danger: do not step on a rake, but, do have a good laugh when someone else sets themselves on fire by not following instructions. 

Leo: While others are mired in the mud, take comfort in the knowledge that the mud has a healthy admixture of Elephant poop which makes the bemired more bouyant than say, regular mud. People will attempt to warm themselves in your aura.  Tuesday afternoon, someone leaves the cover off their ant farm; you are the bemused observer, Leo.

Virgo: Pay attention to details in background on Wednesday as these facts will give you an advantage next week when the crisis hits. There is room for financial self aggrandizement, of course. Around 2pm on Thursday, a publically available software utility will become available for your plundering pleasures. 

Libra:  A world out of balance seeks to use you as a fulcrum in their quest for the normal. The week begins with opposition from unruly peasants, so expect no common sense in the supermarket check out line until Tuesday afternoon. There is smooth sailing until Friday when a debt is repaid (which is good) but using money from a questionable source. 

Scorpio: A tranche of ever useful alien source phone apps comes into your possession this week on Tuesday at 2pm.  Thursday at midnight Halloween comes again to your neighborhood, so have your costume ready for re-use.  Channel your inner James Bond to keep others cool even as you take control of their appliances using your cell phone.

Sagittarius:  Home and places close to rivers and small lakes are places of tranquility for you this week.  Otherwise, obnoxious details and pedants dog your steps. On Wednesday, the War God shows up with some planning documents that require your attention. Have your high lighters handy, and score points by having some lead for the mechanical pencils in use.  

Capricorn:  Everything is going according to plan. Supernatural forces are gathering to effect the very changes you foresaw some months ago.  While the week starts off with some disagreeable peasants blocking your path to bargains, as the week progresses these problems will be fed into the smelter. Wear gloves to handle the still hot ingots, Capricorn.

Aquarius:  Space aliens figure prominently in your horoscope this week, Aquarius.  You will discover a new source of entertainment on Tuesday; a new combination on Thursday opens up areas of friendship;  and, a debt is retired Saturday, which is to say you will be invited to a sex tourist venue for an orgy.

Pisces:  An old friend from the middle ages shows up this week.  They have some old accounts to settle, but will not attempt to draw you into their ancient dispute concerning a wager over a recipe for pudding.  You will get points for having a good supply of turnips handy. 

I,Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.  I care.

Horoscope for the week of October 4, 2025

 

Aries: There is no chain of command. You are the fulcrum for people seeking equilibrium; your sanity is just fine. Domestic duties are imposed, either need or to further your secret agenda. Either works. Early in the morning on Wednesday you may be pushed into doing something you want to do, so use your mastery of guile to do nothing and get the results you want. 

Taurus: Leadership is making points appealing to the letter of the law, leaving the cleaning of the barn to you, Taurus. Of course, they wait until the end of the week to get around to getting you to get done some project high on your secret agenda list. Gratitude comes your way, so have your banking info handy for some quick deposits on your way home. Take the leftovers.

Gemini: You set the agenda with a pleasant climax on the weekend. This is a good week to keep track of your successes: you will be awarded a Triumph by the Senate and People of Rome for your efforts, but keep the receipts for the full refunds from the priests of Saturn. 

Cancer: Right at the beginning of the week (around 6pm this Sunday) expect to level up in one of your skill sets. Stock up on winning lottery tickets early on Wednesday; certainly before you get to work. Your weekend will feature excessive pleasures as time travelers here for a sex vacation take a fancy to your legacy of antiquities.

Leo: As the week develops the answer to a pressing question will be answered as an accumulation of separately incomprehensible details. Saturday at 11pm you will discover that there are many people like minded to your world view. This will be an electric moment. Prepare for a leadership role when someone else is raised to the purple.

Virgo: You are victorious in struggles all through the week, Virgo. You will have to practice some offensive driving, but you will go viral and earn the prestige of a viral video on a 'Cars versus Pedestrians' channel. Nothing can go wrong on the weekend, so expect to have a wheel barrow of money given to you by a grateful universe.

Libra: Your good taste and digression put you in the spotlight when the mud encrusted peasants make a barn floor of a situation. You will avoid the riots and chaos on Wednesday because of a pressing obligation. There is no shame in wearing barn boots when you have to visit the barn.

Scorpio: Your legendary cool and split second reaction to danger is called into play this week, Scorpio. A crisis will disturb your sleep early on Wednesday morning, but the legions of Rome are there to deal with the actual problem. The People will admire your cool and put you on the short list for a leadership position. A valuable cheat code comes into your possession when you visit the library.

Sagittarius: Your mastery of the history of the Roman Empire is a transferable skill when you study ancient Egypt this week. You will notice some patterns which can put money in your pocket and keep you warm while others fight over the last rolls of toilet paper.

Capricorn: Sunday afternoon you will come to the attention of the leaderless mob, looking for a Tribune.  Curb your tongue as your master plan is to be first citizen, but being a Tribune is a good step up the ladder. 

Aquarius: Space aliens figure prominently in your horoscope this week. Take advantage of advanced technology which nobody else really seems to have, and they don't because it has not been invented yet on this planet. 

Pisces: Plan ahead for when the city around you is seriously depopulated. Maybe spot a nice residence, or a ground car that one of the doomed humans keeps carefully parked in a garage. High rises without electricity for elevators are not a good idea and you can expect the mutant raccoons to take them over anyway.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.  I care.