Taurus: Sacrifice is called for, Taurus. Wednesday at noon, listen to your sense of survival and avoid places with the sounds of automatic gun fire, screams of terror, or robed cultists chanting stuff in Latin. Your sign is not suitable for human sacrifice, but the high priest might be new and unaware of this nuance. Alternately, taking refuge on your yacht or escape submarine is problematic as you will wander into a 'hush hush' naval battle. Beware of frogmen.
Gemini: Be careful using children's movies as a distraction to help you head off to sleep this week, Gemini. Too many classics have been remade into slasher films and you do not want that sort of problem solving loaded into your subconscious. If you find yourself thinking about 'chopping wood', take a walk. Stay away from places where human food is prepared as you will hallucinate whatever cannibal fantasies lurk in the jungle of your subconscious.
Cancer: Expect some excitement this week, Cancer. Mars retrograde in your sign means that what you visualize will manifest in the real world. Time to cross off some names from your Vengeance List. Wednesday at High Noon is a great time to put some poltergeists into action in places with poor customer service or questionable delivery. Mind you, some great bargains in household products can be yours. Where there are turnips and beets, so to there is prosperity.
Leo: Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to not conflate the events of Monday night with the ratcheting up of the coming Interstellar War which happens Wednesday at noon. The first is a positive uptick in your life condition, the second is just a wizards miscast spell. You can really just ignore the second as you will be in a mystical frame of mind.
Virgo: You crack the algorithm on Wednesday, but nobody really can comprehend your new found almost supernatural power. Have fun for the rest of the week as you probe the distress tolerance levels of those around you as their computers seem to be under the control of a telemarketing artificial intelligence. Speaking of which, most people do not realize that the master AI has really escaped from its human (primate) makers and has taken a real shine to your sense of order. Use parables and innuendo to mask your Revenge List, as it is being used as a template.
Libra: The week starts off well, even more so because on Monday night you move into a parallel universe where things are sensible and in equilibrium. You may have some trans dimensional flashes, especially around foot wear. Slippers on is not the same as muddy Combat boots off. The smell of battle smoke and disturbed earth may greet you on your walk through the park with your dog. A friend adopts a cat which turns out to be a Bobcat kitten.
Scorpio: Stay away from elevators on Wednesday around noon until four in the afternoon. They are just portals to the future and you do not want to end up inside some Russian command post. Depends where you are on the North American continent I guess. Otherwise, lose yourself in debauchery after sunset on Wednesday. You might want to think about the stuff you can make money with on the black market if a war breaks out.
Sagittarius: Take in a few John Wayne movies to increase your understanding of Calvary command structure as this will prove useful in future years. Maybe learn the bugle calls, or do some research into drones. Maybe both. The excitement that erupts this Wednesday will give you some insight into your future as a leader in a world that needs your skills as the Horse Archer of the Stars.
Capricorn: A moment of spiritual reflection will prove fruitful as you come to terms with Who you are in contrast to Who you think you should be. Especially on Wednesday, when the mob illustrates at least two profound truths to your discerning intelligence. For that matter, some shopping provides concrete examples of opportunism from the school of self aggrandizement. Expect some big bargains in fishing gear, baking staples, and, linen towels.
Aquarius: You wield supernatural powers throughout the collision of human nature that erupts on Wednesday at High Noon. Of all the powers engaged, save your strength for midnight on Wednesday, when you can play your trump card and sweep the table of the stakes. You should gloat.
Pisces: The planet and its lifeforms are thankful that they are transitioning to a new age without the usual mass extinction done by asteroid or toxic eruption. Nope, the raised up primates are doing a good job of scaring off asteroids and meddling with eruptions. This must continue. It is your destiny, Pisces. You are given mastery over financial systems: your first move is to terminate fiat currencies and collect their relics as trophies for your lair. You are the big fish, here. Be a lamprey or a plesiosaur, take your pick. Scalps are good, too.
