Aries: Doing nothing is not your strength, Aries; but it pays off in spades this week. Tuesday, expect some sort of traffic pile up which is mighty entertaining to watch, so do not be tempted to blitz through the intersection as there are more coming into the pile up. There should be a time traveler hanging around, but you won't figure out who it is for a few more weeks.
Taurus: Hang out at the free sex hippie chick commune this weekend and you will meet an older person filled with valuable advice and a doctor's bag filled with useful space alien tools. Saturday at midnight, the wet blanket posse shows up. When wet, they smell like dog blankets.
Gemini: Avoid explaining things to people as they do not understand the concept of the spirit of the law, especially when they are trying to game the system using the letter of the law.
Cancer: The week starts off with you in power, but around four in the morning on Tuesday expect some drama with the mob which may splash over as some commuting drama on your way about town. Water transportation systems, like sewers and drinking water, will behave contrary to the laws of physics. It is too your advantage, ultimately.
Leo: Tuesday at four in the afternoon your leadership is called for in a vigilante action to protect life and property. You will assume command of a mob and make them into the citizen army the Romans always admired! Thursday at four in the morning expect more excitement to get you out of bed. Your incompetent leaders have locked themselves out of the control room!
Virgo: Friday at eight in the morning you will come to the rescue with the right tool to solve a sudden crisis. You might want to see that your first aid kit is stocked up, and keep a rubber hammer handy in case some medieval surgery is called for.
Libra: A time traveling mystic from the past takes a shine to your aura and seeks to bathe in your radiance. This will manifest as a work of art that develops the ability to move around on its own, which could be quite frightening, except you do not put two and two together until after the fact.
Scorpio: An angelic host gathers on Tuesday around four o'clock, which could be useful in games of darts or perhaps a bit of snooker. Tearing down statues has its consequences, and people from the past are reappearing, and they like the cut of your jib.
Sagittarius: Your ability to reinterpret the letter of the law to the advantage of the spirit of the law is powerful, but subtle. Nobody much realizes you are moving the goalposts to the advantage of your personal philosophical agenda.
Capricorn: Everything is going according to plan. The war goddess Athena is calling you to attend a conference on the weekend, so polish your boots, and pick out your best riding pants to wear.
Aquarius: While cities burn, just think that it is Mordor having a bad day. If you have a mind, create a diorama of meaningful figurines and amulets upon a trestle board and move the chess pieces to your design. You are moving in tune with the Aquarian age, and the great heroes are assembling.
Pisces: Victory at Sea may prove elusive this week, what with all the secret weapons showing up. You might wish to avoid travel by water what with the frogmen crawling up out of the swamps in a way that would put the fear into the Roman legions. Sleep lightly.
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