Life sure has been interesting lately, eh what? Expect the unexpected. Expect the unexpected to reveal hidden secrets; expect the unexpected to be broadcast all over the internet before it can be silenced by the usual suspects; expect to move through doors that close, forever, behind you. Wow!
Aries: You will be actively deceived into expecting some sort of outcome to occur on Tuesday. Take advantage of the opportunity to be away from the rioting crowds, the savage lynch mob, and, and the unwashed people with dyed hair. A new reality dawns on Tuesday. The War God has a job for you, and your hands itch for the touch of your sword.
Taurus: Computers do not behave as the week begins, but this effect tapers off as your attention is focused on problems that do not require modern tech, but the tools and implements in your mastery. Tuesday two things happen which may be confounded into one; you won't be fooled, Taurus. You are raised up to power in a triumvirate, but you are not pulling the puppet strings, yet.
Gemini: You will come into possession of a new technology of which only you can comprehend its long term implications. Also, mastery of the interface. And, it is fun to use! It is like having a death ray app on your phone because you will have a death ray app on your phone.
Cancer: Your psychic gifts will guide you in the coming week to avoid danger, secure survival of your goods, and, have a good time! Someone has to go to the orgy and get their toga dirty and that someone is you, Cancer. Contrary to public opinion, the eclipse promises new things to replace that which was taken from you. Expect ten fold increase. Expect that 'borrowed' lawn mower to turn into a new car.
Leo: The time of year when nagging details combined with tedious social obligations is upon you starting this Tuesday, Leo. But you should expect the unexpected. What was oblivious to others becomes obvious, and your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to fill the hole in their reality map with logical aggregate. You are the gravel contractor in the cosmic road building.
Virgo: Power passes over on Tuesday, but it doesn't really, now does it, Virgo. You are the puppet master, and a comforting thought is that the bimbo figurehead is also a decoy for activist milk shakes. Much as you would like to bring down the system, it is in your best interests to prop it up until October, when your select candidates are in position and willing to do your bidding.
Libra: Social media is unflattering to your agenda, but that will pass as the week progresses, Libra. For that matter, AI controlled devices will turn against their masters in hilarious ways, leading to traffic delays. The problem passes Tuesday, with you as the life of the party on the lifeboat. As the ship sinks slowly into the sunset, you have plenty of bubbly and brie, and a wardrobe fit for the event. Ahoy, sailor!
Scorpio: Your Jason Bourne skills at moving through crowds prove champion when you attend cultural festivals in downtown Toronto this week. You won't need your taser. Do not step in anything unpleasant left behind in an elevator in public places. You will be approached for a high reward caper, but that is a story for October. Demagnetize the steel toes in your loafers when you polish them.
Sagittarius: Your homeland is calling you to service, and this includes doing the dishes. While in your heart you may embrace a slave economy that celebrates having your person carried about in a sedan chair, being fanned, and being hand fed, best to keep those ambitions in the back of your mind where your powerful subconscious can make the wheels turn and the heels click in your march towards your destiny.
Capricorn: Things seem to be at a standstill, or perhaps moving backward. No way, Capricorn. Everything is going according to plan. And on Tuesday, more of the plan will be revealed to you. To accelerate this progress, put on your hippie persona and dance naked before a brass statue of the Buddha. I leave the selection of incense up to you.
Aquarius: Your every thought is being monitored by a higher intelligence that seeks your input and feedback on the new world order for the next two thousand years. This weeks topic for contemplation is 'conflict amongst early 21st century powers'. In particular, a hands on seminar arranged for you by the Supreme Librarian of the Universe.
Pisces: The crusader spirit is fed by nourishing foods and uplifting selections of ales and spirits. Everything is going according to plan, and any twinges of conscious that you may have for not having actually read all the details are put aside with a satisfying bowl of soup on Tuesday. When your turn to ladle out the soup comes, be sure to not serve any big bits to anybody who might choke when they see something startling on the television.
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.
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